Mom: I wish I was as pretty as you when I was your age!
Parents' Friends: How many boys do you have chasing after you now?
Grandparents: Look at our beautiful granddaughter! How many hearts have you broken this week?
School: Someone touch it with a stick so we know it doesn't bite.
me: wow could my thighs get any bigger
me: apparently yes
me: despite the fact that no one views or cares about my blog, i will continue to spend the majority of my life updating it
I just want someone to kiss and call mine...to...
seerofsarcasm: barackfuckingobama: notquitelegitimate: the cinema is going to be full of 16-23 year olds, no doubt every college kid in america is peeing themselves in delight right now This is brilliant. They timed this JUST like Toy Story, their initial target demographic for the first movie is now I’m college, going into college, or graduating college. God you’re brilliant, Pixar.
white people: I wish I lived in the forties! Everything was so much COOLER back then, you know?
japanese people: nope
thai people: nope
black people: nope
latin people: nope
cuban people: nope
native people: nope
korean people: nope
desi people: nope
jewish people: nope
queer people: nope
vietnamese people: nope
chinese people: nope
disabled people: nope
fivemuskaqueers: MY MOM TOLD ME SHE WOULD BUY ME GRAPES BUT SHE LIED TO ME AND BOUGHT CHERRIES AND I HATE CHERRIES SO I POURED SOME OF THEM DOWN THE ICE DISPENSER SO WHEN SHE GOES TO GET ICE THE FRIDGE WILL LIE TO HER AND GIVE HER CHERRIES INSTEAD LIKE SHE DID TO ME
picking my kid up from school in 25 years
me: yo shawty, leggoo
kid: mom, please not this again
me: stop being a hater. yolo
kid: you're embarrassing me
Teacher: Why did you not study?
Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.
sailorirene: Please jump infront of a bus